Please Don't Bless My Children

[Denise]

Please Don't Bless My Children

February 2006
By Larry A. Carstens

Larry A. Carstens teaches English in a public high school and community college in the Los Angeles area.

Sometimes a practice creeps into the Mass that nobody seems to notice, and upon which nobody comments. But for those to whom their Catholic faith really matters, the barely noticed and gradually ubiquitous practice is a source of discomfort and concern. Take, for example, the distracting and uncomfortable custom of peer-pressured hand-holding during the Our Father. A number of orthodox voices were raised against it and, in some parishes, the inappropriate hand-holding diminished.

Nowadays, another practice has crept into the Mass in various dioceses throughout the country. It seems a very sensitive area, and objections to it are likely to offend a large number of people. But my concern is the proper worship of God, not approval among men. But how do you tell a sweet little old lady who loves the Lord and cheerfully does her best to assist at Mass that what she's doing might not be the best way to honor God?

Quite some time ago, there developed among priests distributing Communion at Mass the custom of placing their hands on the heads of children too young to receive the Sacrament to bless them. I have no objection to this practice at Mass, as long as the person blessing the children is an ordained priest (or deacon). However, as time has passed and more and more Eucharistic ministers have been distributing Communion at Mass, these helpful, but non-ordained, persons have taken it upon themselves -- or have been instructed -- to bless children in the manner of an ordained priest. And herein lies the rub: It does not seem appropriate for the non-ordained to bless children at Mass.

I know this will annoy some readers, but I would only ask such persons to consider if it really serves the purposes of our Faith for non-ordained persons, many (if not most) of whom are women, to imitate the actions and office of priests at Mass. I really do not believe that our Lord is best served by this relatively new practice that is creeping into the Mass.

If you believe that the Faith, which was handed down to us from the Apostles and preserved by the Magisterium through two millennia, is true and guided by the Holy Spirit, you will perhaps admit that God's plan for His Church has never included priestesses, and that therefore any steps in that direction, however subtle they may be, are steps away from rather than toward Him. Perhaps, too, you will recognize that the practice I have described has crept into the Mass in an illegitimate, and therefore inappropriate, manner.

And so, as the father of five children, all too young to receive Communion, my respectful but sincere message to all non-ordained Eucharistic ministers is this: Please don't bless my children during Mass. It's nothing against you, but is a reverence and respect for Christ and the ordained priest who acts in persona Christi. I appreciate your assistance in helping the priest distribute Communion, but I respectfully request that you leave the public blessing of children during the Mass to those who have received the Sacrament of Holy Orders.

[Johnna]

This is what comes with the use of too many extraordinary eucharistic ministers.

I have often wondered if it is wrong for them to bless my kids. I don't see any harm in the action outside of mass, yet I can guarantee you that there isn't a reason why I would seek out any random person of the list of eem's and ask them to bless my child outside of mass either.

This is the first I've really heard mention of it. (although admittedly I just might not be very aware). Funny how these little blessings are just creeping in without anyone saying anything. Next thing you know, the uneducated will be thinking that it is supposed to happen since that's the only way they've ever seen it done. (like the hand holding thing. dont' get me started on that!)

[Denise]

From Fr. Z's blog

QUAERITUR: Can EMCHs give “blessings”?
Posted on 12 December 2011 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf


From a reader:

At Mass this morning, at least one of the EMs was ‘blessing’ children
as they came forward. My understanding was that only priests could
give blessings.

We are a parish with 2 priests covering 3 churches, plus one Permanent Deacon.

The priest in charge was officiating today, alone. He also happens to
be the Vicar General.

I’m only in RCIA so I don’t feel I can comment but it just didn’t seem
quite right. Can you advise?


Since you are in RCIA, you are no doubt curious and interested to learn about Catholic worship and practices. I wish all Catholics were interested for their whole lives in learning about our worship.

I will refer you to a good entry about this issue HERE. It includes an article by Mr. Paul M. Matenaer, who wrote it for the newspaper of the Diocese of Madison. My emphases and comments.

Excerpt:

In 2008, the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments received a letter asking precisely this question. The congregation responded in a private reply with five observations on why this practice is not permitted. [NOT]

But first, let me note that even though private replies do not have the force of universal law, they typically (and this one especially) contain an excellent analysis and resolution of the issue, giving us a unique look at the practice of the Roman Curia. In other words, this private reply is persuasive not by reason of authority but by the authority of right reason, to which every well-intentioned Catholic should submit. Here are their five observations:

Blessing given at end of Mass

[1] The Congregation for Divine Worship points out in their first observation that the liturgical blessing of the Mass is given to everyone gathered in the church just a few moments after the distribution of Holy Communion. This occurs when the priest, making the sign of the cross, says, “May Almighty God bless you, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

In other words, there is no need to bless only some members of the congregation (e.g. children and non-Catholics) during communion, when the entire congregation is blessed by the priest just moments later.
Laity unable to bless at Mass

[2] In the second observation, we are reminded that within the context of Mass, blessings are the competency of the priest, not lay persons. Article 18 of the Book of Blessings [ugh] notes that even though lay persons may give some blessings, “whenever a priest or deacon is present, the office of presiding [over a blessing] should be left to him.” [And at Mass there is always a sacerdos present.]

A 1997 instruction, Ecclesia de Mysterio, on the collaboration of the lay faithful further indicates that the laity should never say prayers or perform actions during the Mass which are proper to the priest, as this may lead to a confusion of roles. Since the blessing of the congregation during Mass is reserved to the priest, lay persons must avoid doing so.

Laying on of hands discouraged

[3] The third observation addresses the practice in some places where the EMHC lays hands on a member of the congregation as a sign of blessing. The private reply states that this practice “is to be explicitly discouraged” because the laying on of hands has its own “sacramental significance” which is inappropriate here. The Catechism notes that since this specific sign commonly accompanies the administration of sacraments (e.g. Confirmation) and the succession of the apostles, the laying on of hands must not be used here.

Some prohibited from receiving blessings

[4] Finally, in the fourth and fifth observations, the private reply notes there are some who should neither approach Holy Communion nor receive a blessing. This would include non-Catholics and those mentioned in canon 915 of the Code of Canon Law, such as those under the penalty of excommunication and those persisting in manifest grave sin. [!] Giving a blessing to these persons might give the impression that they are in full communion with the Church or have returned to good standing. In order to avoid the possibility of scandal, EMHCs should not give blessings.

Additions to the rite prohibited

[5] Finally, even though the private reply does not specifically mention this, we ought to recall that “no one may on a personal initiative add to or omit or alter anything in [liturgical] books” as canon 846 of the Code of Canon Law clearly states. Nowhere in the Roman Missal or the GIRM are the extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion instructed to bless those unable to receive communion; therefore, this practice of blessing is one of these additions to the rite which is strictly prohibited.

Making use of the sacramentals

Sometimes we may be tempted to think that since something is not part of the Mass it has no spiritual importance. But this would be to neglect the power of the sacramentals, such as blessings, which are liturgical actions signifying spiritual effects obtained through the intercession of the Church. Done properly and in the right context, these blessings better dispose us to receive grace and sanctify various occasions in life.

[NB] One such sacramental that lay persons may administer is the blessing of sons/daughters, which can be as simple as praying over your children: “May the Lord keep you and make you grow in his love, so that you may live worthy of the calling he has given you, now and for ever. Amen.”

Therefore, even if EMHCs are not permitted to give blessings during Mass, the desire to bless is good nonetheless and can become a fruitful aspect of our faith when done in accordance with the Church’s rites. As a parent, I have always enjoyed the practice of blessing my young children before bed and teaching them to reverence the Eucharist with a simple bow of the head as they walk past the minister of Holy Communion at Mass.